Good morning. This post may strike you as odd. It’s a little bit
different in that it reveals a deeper truth about myself.
Whenever somebody asks me how I came up with the idea of Peradon,
my four realmed world of elemental magic, I am suddenly gripped by
Can I tell them everything?
This is often my first thought, for as some of
you already know, Book One of The Peradon Fantasy Series, Phoenix, was loosely based on my life.
Now, I believe it is truth time.
*Okay, deep breaths.*
Here goes nothing.
I was nineteen (I believe) when I met a young man that intrigued me more than any other. He was sophisticated, charming, and funny- that word didn’t do his sense of humour justice. I soon became enamoured with this gorgeous young man, a human being so rare and seemingly perfect that he had to be real, right?
I was so very wrong.
At this point in our story, I’d like to explain a crucial truth about myself.
You see, I was born in the wrong body. I think that’s the easiest way to put it, for now.
I was born into a female form, from which I’ve only ever wanted to be free. The modern term for a person that feels stuck in this way is Transgender.
Now, I understand that some people don’t believe that this type of phenomena
exists, but please believe me when I say that it does, and it is not fun, not one bit.
Returning to our main story:
The charming young man that I had met was not at all what he seemed. Soon, his sweet words turned sour, the butterflies fluttering in my stomach, transformed into a gnawing regret. It was shortly after we parted ways that I realized who I truly was inside.
What role do I play?
I remember asking myself this, over and over, in front of my bedroom mirror.
One song, from a popular disney movie entitled Mulan, best sums up how I’ve
always felt about myself and the body I was born in. From age six, I remember
watching Mulan for the first time and bursting into tears as this song was played.
At that time, I couldn’t understand why it made me cry so, but to this day, I consider
it to be one of the most important moments, if not THE most important of my childhood.
(Please read the small extract of Reflection, from the Mulan Soundtrack below.)
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me-
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?
Somehow I cannot hide-
Who I am, though I’ve tried.
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
When will my reflection show who I am inside.
So, now you know. This is why I always feel that sharp stab of fear when somone asks me how I came up with the world of Peradon, or the premise for Book One, Phoenix.
I decided to share this with you all today, not just because I wanted to give a completely honest answer to a common question I’ve been asked, but because in a few months time, I’m going to experience chest surgery and in all honestly, I’m so excited, but also
beyond terrified. It will be a big change, and although big changes are part of human life, we can never really prepare ourselves for them, fully.
Back when that charming, miraculous concept of a boy walked out of my life, I was heartbroken. He quickly became my lead inspiration for one of Phoenix’s main characters, The Frost Emperor Ryore. Ryore is a man that seems sweet at first, coaxing his ‘love’ into a false sense of security before shortly becoming obsessed, to the point where anything sweet and kind about him disappears, along with the rest of his mask.
I must admit that I was a naive teenager at the time, thinking that everyone had some good in them, or at least that they’d act on the good parts within. Violetta was thus inspired by myself, or should I say, my former self, given the physical form I was born into.
Does that make sense? I hope so.
Not only is Violetta naive, but she can be quite a headstrong character, insisting in her mind that she is right in her choices when she doesn’t always have the full picture. She is also a rather tragic character: all she wants is to find her own sense of freedom, to love
and be loved, and to heal the wounds of her own childhood.
With regards to that damned boy I’d met…
Ever since we lost contact, the fictional world of Peradon only continued to expand, with more characters appearing at every corner of my life, each wanting to play their parts.
Xyhoni, heir to the Earth Realm (and Violetta’s true mate), is a representation of everything I’d ever wanted in a partner.
He is a strong and courageous young man that will stop at nothing until true justice is served. He treats Violetta with kindness and respect, and makes her feel as though butterflies are constantly fluttering within her stomach, no matter how much time passes or how long they’ve been in each-other’s company.
Then, in May of this year, I met my Xyhoni for real.
I fell in love. Properly. For the first time ever!
Now, as Peradon continues to expand, I can look forward to many more adventures with Violetta Flame, with the knowledge that things always work themselves out in the end. 🙂
Thank you for reading this very personal blog entry.
I hope it has allowed you to see into my soul that little bit more. 🙂
-Mr D. Buchelli.
P.S. If anyone is affected by the topic of this post (Transgender, Transexualism), please feel free to come and talk to me on Instagram, or Facebook using the links below.